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Native State

by Jess Williamson

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1.
Blood Song 05:13
Things look far away and you haven’t felt awake For days and days and days and days and days Who can say what’s really real When there’s a veil between What you kinda see and what you kinda feel How much do these summers cost? Do you need a little break, a couple weeks away Somebody there to take your vitals Conveniently while you’re on the phone with me That’s what I call fucking timing You’ll hang up when you’re good and you’re ready Leaves me driving through a wild Northwest storm That feels put on for me and my girl We gotta get to Portland We’re gonna do real good for ‘em, gonna do real good for ‘em But for now we see the forest weep instead of me The forest weep instead of me And I can’t explain a sudden need For the passenger seat and sleep And then I heard about the blood I heard about the blood I can’t be enough when we are not in love But I’m picturing your mother I’m picturing your mother I’m picturing your mother But for now we see the forest weep instead of me The forest weep instead of me How much do these summers cost? Do you need a little break, a couple weeks away You and me we got a bell to ring
2.
Native State 04:14
I thought I saw something real in Barcelona, in Brooklyn But I’ve learned the power now of manic delusions I remember Leonard Cohen And your tears and how you used to cry And you’d thank me, you’d thank me For not asking you why My darling, my baby, we have a bond that will not break It will not change, it will not fade No matter how many times I am replaced Stay with her, and stay away Stay with her, and stay away Did you wanna ask your little lady Why she’s crying and changing her sheets Why she’s lighting the sage as you’re biking away Well I can promise you she’s gonna sleep all day Feel the weight Your native state Feel the weight Your native state I remember all the chiller names you had for disrespect Your cruelty and cavalier way with regret Was proved by the news of how you moved inside my long-haired ladyfriend My darling my baby I hope you’re more than just a pretty face I wish you well, I wish you peace I wish you real love someday You’re beautiful and you’ll always meet someone But when you’re gone You’ll be tattooed under mountains on my arm
3.
Been draped over dozens of faces Been cut, dried, bleached and braided One part dead, one part haunted Get up close and you see the ghosts A little squint, now skeletons Shamans drink the salt water State your case, All stand, Rotate Ain’t it just like me to talk so ugly Wash my mouth or just watch me now It bubbles up, gargles down, to a stomach pit And my words, my words they drown And go on and out Can’t count the pretty little ghosts in you Or all the color I put you through Grow longer longer, longer, long Lash my back, spur me on Longer, longer, longer, long Weighs my neck Keeps me young
4.
My pride was a mountain And yours a little bird I’d stand long and strong beside you You’d sing anywhere you’re heard You gotta spin the wheel every morning And if madness or artifice come as a warning Forget what they told ya, it gets cold in California But the women there with the flowers in their hair Will wrap you in white towels So you’ll never even feel it You’ll never have to try or cry Be warm in their bath water And they’ll line your diamond eyes Time beat pride and I saw all I’d lost Laying with you so many nights See my ladies moon-bathing at the riverside Long hair, bare hearts, bare hides My ladies moon-bathing at the riverside Now they’re singing all morning They’re singing all night They’re singing all morning: set free, reunite Now they’re singing all morning They’re singing all night They’re singing all morning: spin the wheel And guard your pride
5.
Field 02:25
Beyond forgiveness and beyond un-forgiveness There is a field amber with healing Whose gonna meet you there? Who will be waist high in lilies for you? Who? Will you stand calm and unlocked In the face of such graciousness? Where beyond words like fate or faith There is a place for us My wise-eyed and long-haired lady I’m with you And we will sit with your sadness Til the deep-dark don’t get to you Til the deep-dark don’t even come close And your hair all up in braids now
6.
The leaves must know and the water sees A speckle light dance across her porcelain cheek Shouldn’t be, Shouldn’t be reserved for me Just look at those eyes of hers As she cocks her head to watch the birds The word: nobility Isn’t she? Isn’t she true to me? Saved a green rock from the river Do what I can to remember a day like this Tie a scrap of moss around our wrists Try as we must to touch what surrounds us All of us thinking what we can’t photograph We can sing And we witness We witness a splendid thing To be happily known Happily if only known by you Don’t turn away, don’t turn away As I bow to you Look at my face I bow to you And you can have heaven on earth You can have heaven on earth Did it feel like for the first time being seen? It was more like being heard without speaking Don’t turn away, don’t turn away As I bow to you Look at my face I bow to you
7.
Seventh Song 02:51
Many of my friends now are ending their twenties They see Saturn’s return and the changes he brings I got a good idea, I just can’t find my pen We’re all waiting for life to begin But ain’t we always more or less heading West? And I got a good man, he don’t sleep Sundays He’s got the work week weighing on his brain But I love him for his plans, and I love him for his sanity And I loved him when he said Will I be proud of all the money? Like any desirable woman I use words like free My choices are light and easy, easy Here I am at 25 and I can’t sign a lease Mostly I survived off people being nice to me But I hope home can be home And I’m hoping I don’t have to leave And I hope he knows it’s all on me And I’m so, so sorry I got honey for the hungry And everybody gets a little piece But do you know how holy it is Just to quietly sit with someone?

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released January 28, 2014

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Jess Williamson Los Angeles, California

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